mabuhay! kasalukuyan mong binabaybay ang aking makulay at masayang page!

natatawa ako sa mga taong sobrang patay na patay sa mga boyfriends nila...

i have a couple of friends na kulang nalang magpatattoo sa noo nila ng pangalan ng mga syuting nila (or ung tawagan nila, like babes, honey, mine, mahal)

yung friendster nila, talagang kuntodo shout out ng i love you + FULL NAME ng bf's nila... yung multiply site nila, super tadtad ng pangalan at photos ng mga BF nila... at nako! nakacalendar ang mga monthsary! meron pa nga, nagGGM.. hi guys, textex tau!
sabay banat "i miss my mhine.." ano ba yan! parang highschool!

ang pinakamalufet don... after several months..... BREAK UP na ito. haha.. pero so far, ung mga friends kong die hard sa mga shuting nila, sila parin naman.....

hindi ako naiinggit. why wud i be? i have a great guy in my life.

ngayon, or sa ngayon, bagong buhay na ako. hehe
good girl na ito. narealize ko kasi, may Adrian pala ako. ive neglected him for more than a year....

turning point? nung nagkasakit siya. sabi nia, "wala na kasing nag-aalaga sakin eh... wala nang nagtetex sakin na kumain na ako, na wag magpapatuyo ng pawis, na umuwi ng maaga...."

shit. while im busy with my thesis, with my friends, with my party life and busy updating my multiply, andon ang BF ko at nagkakasakit na.

shit. tama na diane. alagaan mo naman BF mo, sobra mo nang winalangya yang BF mo eh....

nung major away namin, sbi nia, sinisira ko na daw relationship namin. sa mga ginagawa ko daw, pinapahiwatig ko na daw na ayaw ko na.. sige daw, sobra na daw ako.

shit. flashback lahat ng kasalanan ko.

how could i do those shits to this great guy??

ngayon, bawi na talaga....

on to the five more years together!
i love you!

our 4years and 10th monthsary just passed....... war kami ngayon. reasons nia?
1. i dont text/call him that often
2. i dont ask permission to him anymore
3. i shop a lot
4. i wear daring (for him) clothes na
5. i make sumbat all the gastos to him
6. i basically have changed and as he puts it, "hindi na ikaw yung diane na minahal ko dati......."

my reasons for doing so?
1. i am soooooooooooooooooo busy at school, Thesis, The Scholastican
2. i enjoy being with NERDS more often nowadays
3. i relieved my life being single by wearing what i want to wear and basically by going out on gimiks
4. i had fallen for another guy for 5 months last year..........

i know. i cheated on him. and this is my confession.

i wont go into the details on how we met how it became "us" and how it ended. what i would have to say is that it was just for fun... for the sake of bragging about having another guy in my life.. maybe it made me felt "wanted" again... since adrian had not been showing me that for the longest time...........

i dunno.. we just grew cold.......like everything is just "nakasanayan" or habitual... parang wala nang growth.. actually ever since naman, wala na talagang growth eh.....siya lang ang nag-grow.....

kaya nung nagkaroon ng chance...... to fall in love again... even thought i know i will get hurt in the end....... i still chose to give in...dumating yung time na.. talagang pagkasama ko si adrian.. siya parin nasa isip ko......yung tipong okay lang magbreak kasi, may ibang lalaki na ako......

pero yun yung naging problem. ang usapan, walang seryosohan.. laro lang ang lahat (Although he never did say it was all for fun). he also has a girlfriend eh, pero kahit na single siya.. wala parin yon.. im not his type din naman...

kanina, umalis ako at may nakasakay ako sa jeep.. badboy look din at nagsmosmoke. hay naalala ko na naman siya. three weeks na siyang di nagtetext at sana ituloy na nia. kahit na gusto ko sya imesage sa friendster at itext (nagpalit na siya ng smart, but i still have all his contacts, even his mom's!) tinitiis ko..... kasi mali eh.. alam mo nang mali, patuloy parin.....

i know for a fact that i still long for him, di biro ang 5months na araw2 gabi2 mo katxt diba? may ilang dates din kami together at most of them were very memorable.... hay ewan.

i miss u glen, but i guess.. thank you for not contacting me anymore.. really.. im dead serious.. im thanking u for saying that i should give all my love and attention to adrian, the guy whom all of these are due... you are definetely right..

i just thought u were the one who would rescue me from this lonelines (shocks, am i sounding emo here?)

ang nag-iisang emo ng buhay ko....

ano, believe ka na totoo sinabi ko?! i know u might no believe that im capable of doing this.. kaso i was just so lonely with my life.. and those 5months with glen were truly an experience id never forget.. although.. may ugali din siya.. at talaga naman user din, katulad ni adrian (pareho talga lahat ng mga lalaki).

Okay.. so far so good... im now letting go of my feelings for glen.. naalala ko lang one time i dreamt about stabbing him to death.... grabeh.. siguro it means i want to kill my feelings for him..

now i can say that i dont want him anymore.

sometimes, it takes us to see the wrong first to be able to see the right. and i have found all the right in adrian. ewan bulag na naman siguro ako....

i want adrian to be with me for the rest of my life... but i am conditioning myself that i should open my options for other partners...

specifically those na
1. Walang financial problem (ako naman gagastusan)
2. has good education
3, makakasundo ko sa isang bagay na hindi ko pwede itype dito...
4.open minded, adventurous like me, sociable and will support all my plans
5. may kaya pero hindi pasosyal...
6. communicates better than me in english
7. loyal (katulad ni adrian)
8. chinito
9. May car (preferably, kasi may car ako eh, tapatan nio nman)
10. at........ hmmmm sana mahilig sa music, or may fashion sense (Emo fashion sana! shet!)

pero miss ko din sillyness namin ni Adrian.. like yung mga ganitong moments.....

chillax lang sa bahay nila

SEE


SAW

i miss him.. yet i dont want to continue this anymore..ahh.. im soo confused....